For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize