Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
high people should be assigned attendants
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
