The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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