Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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