We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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