Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
