I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
