i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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