he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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