We're like a lot better than the average bears
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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