I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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