You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
