We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
