My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you never un-have a 4some
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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