youre lurking in front of me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
