About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
