Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
