I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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