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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
