You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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