I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
