Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
