All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
