I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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