At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
