escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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