I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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