So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
