Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sponge bath it is.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
