Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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