Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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