I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize