this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
