remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
