he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You dont lie about slip and slides
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize