Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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