Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
