I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
