would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
