gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
