Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You ate ashes out of my bong
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize