Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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