Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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