these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
