I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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