you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
