Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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