You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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