Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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