So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
