The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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