What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
