I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
