So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
