new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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