His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
