I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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