The maid of honor just puked.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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