So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
