Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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