what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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